Spoiler alert: I will be referencing how-the-movie-ends types of things in this post.

So the new movie 500 Days of Summer seems to be all over the place—all my friends have gone to or are going to see it. The “this is not a love story” tag line is intriguing. If it’s about a boy meeting a girl, and it’s specifically not a love story, then what is it? This past weekend, I went with a friend to find out the answer.

I have to say that, while the film was entertaining, I was disappointed. First, things I appreciated: They don’t get together in the end. It wasn’t a typical “happy ending,” and that felt more realistic than the typical romantic comedy Hollywood puts out. Also, counter to the usual gender stereotypes, the woman was not interested in a long-term, serious relationship, and she was honest and forthright about that with the man (and she wasn’t portrayed as a “slut”), and it was the guy that was looking for the full-blown romantic ideal of “the one.” The two main characters had charm. And it has a great soundtrack.

So, about the things I didn’t appreciate. What disappointed me was the use of tired, not particularly funny “jokes” that didn’t add anything to the film except reinforcing stereotypes. Cringe-worthy and alienating. When Tom has a huddle with his friends about his romantic situation, and says they don’t really need labels for their relationship, what are his friends’ responses? “You’re so gay.” Or maybe it was “that’s gay,” as in “that’s stupid.” Either one, way to propagate and normalize juvenile displays of homophobia, especially in a film that’s generally pretty heteronormative. The only reference to a character with any kind of LGBTQ orientation or experience—Summer having had a short same-sex relationship in college—is again played for laughs, rather than being treated as a normal part of her relationship history. Another line that earned my disappointment? When Tom is avoiding initiating the big what-is-our-relationship talk with Summer (because he’s afraid the answer will be “I don’t want to be in a relationship”), his little sister’s advice? “Don’t be a pussy.” Granted, I realize that there is irony in this line being delivered by a strong, young, athletic girl, but the use of the pussy=girl=weak=not-something-a-guy-should-be angle is old and, again, just not really funny to me.

I know that some people would tell me to lighten up. But I don’t want to. This kind of stuff is so embedded in our culture and so often goes unmentioned or unchallenged. And so I just don’t feel like lightening up.